"Helicopter called to duty on air conditioning units" In related news, a B-52 bomber was called in on an oven, and F16 fighter jets were contacted about installing cable.
"Lubbock residents get one-on-one with mayor" But they get to bring a friend to see the Chief of Police.
"Florida medical examiner may take post in Lubbock" There's apparently a post shortage in Florida.
"Texas Tech plans crackdown on unauthorized use of school logo" The fad of branding donkeys with the logo is causing confusion among those who use the common phrase "Texas Tech jackass".
"Simple scheme put perpetrators through college" They claimed they were All-American running backs and illegal immigrants.